Better Late Than Never.

Firstly let me take the opportunity to wish everyone a happy and prosperous 2018. I know it’s a bit late but I have good reason. If you stop by here regularly you will know that our only holiday throughout the year is the Christmas week. I generally treat myself to a skip and spend the week grafting my ass off. This year though Christmas holidays came early and with some rather unexpected and unwelcome consequences.

The last couple of days before the holiday were quiet as we stopped shipping parcels and so I thought it would be a good opportunity to get ahead of the game. I moved here ten years ago and we constructed a bench out of waste pallets as a temporary measure which has been falling apart ever since. Now was the time and so with two absolutely awful dark drizzly days in prospect I decided to jump in.

Time for new benches (about 10 years ago). That pole weighs over 200Kg! Trust me I know 🙂

Once we cleared all the rotten crap away we had to dismantle an overhead cover frame work we no longer used. This I built from telegraph poles and 6×2″s. It all came down nicely and the crap was cleared away but then we had to get those poles out of the ground. I figured out a way to pull them up but not to the full 3′ that was buried so I just man-handled them the rest of the way, should have done this in summer when they were not full of water! Still with everything laying on the lawn it looked like we had Eddie Hall over training at Fingal’s Fingers.

Fingal’s Fingers anyone?

Ramon busted his hump over the two days leaving me to finish off on the Saturday which I did, that rescued all of the Christmas week for me or, so I thought. Simple, a little expensive but should last longer than I will. We are on a slope so levelling up benches is important.

Sunday morning I felt a little worse for wear but carried on regardless. Christmas day the whole family turned up and Sarah cooked a meal fit for a king. Trouble is I was in a bad way and barely managed to stay upright long enough to eat anything. Then, come Boxing day morning it became evident that something had gone very seriously wrong. I know pain, the list of examples I could share would leave you wide mouthed and in hysterics if you share my cruel outlook. One time I broke both arms at once, the right one folded up and snapped completely. What made it worse was the face plant I completed on the road after I got back on my bike to ride home (as my right arm concertinaed up). The police found me in a bus shelter passed out. However this time the pain was worse. For all the world i thought I had ripped my own buttock off, the pain in my right side and leg was simply inconceivable and I was ABSOLUTELY unable to to move even a single inch. All the pain killers in the local Tesco store did nothing and so mid morning Catherine was forced to call out an ambulance since I could not move, there were no doctors available and 111 left us hanging. In a few minutes a couple of wonderful young fellas arrived and eventually (another shocking story) got me something very strong to take the edge off.

I spent 9 days unable to move and screaming the house down every time I tried to move. New years eve I passed out four times trying to get up. Now I am up and about a bit, no thanks to my doctor, and the NHS physio’ I have still not been able to see (nothing until February). The tales I can tell leave me heartbroken regards the state of my once proud nation. I really do not want to go into the details of all this further, it’s a supremely painful memory in every respect. However my absolute life saver has been a local osteopath who has been an angel. The laymans explanation was that I crushed the right side of my body (carrying telegraph poles on my shoulder). That resulted in everything going into spasm and squished all the nerves in my arse, leg and lower back. Time to loose some weight and get back to pumping iron again, unless I am broken in half i’m not giving in yet, FUCK PAIN!

I’m up and about a bit now and started lifting, which I have been threatening to get back to all year, just a shame i was a bit too late. Sorry if you have been trying to get a hold of me but I was occupied. I have to offer a sincere and tearful thanks to Catherine who has been more than an angel through all this and has been carrying the business these last couple of weeks (and 500 parcels). I have been doing my best, here is an oak I did in the midst of my suffering.

Happy new year 🙂


16 thoughts on “Better Late Than Never.

  1. I am so sorry you went through this. We have chiropractors and physical therapists her in the States. Do you not have them in the UK? Get well soon.

  2. Sorry to here if your bad buttock…. I hope you get better soon… benches do look amazing !

    Take it easy…. lucky your bit doing Noelanders this year…. you’d never manage all of that….

  3. A quand une nouvelle vidéo dont vous seul avait le secret . …Je vous salue aux neolanders

  4. Oh man! Scrolling through your story and the pictures. Got to the pic of the big poles and thought ‘they took some getting out!’. Turns out they did! Hell mate – you take care.

  5. Hi Graham, So Sorry to hear of this ! Hope you are feeling better and recovering well ! Getting old does indeed suck…… but getting old healthy is a good plan ! Again hope you are healing well !

  6. i share your feelings Graham, i fell on my coccyx last april & i am still in dreadful pain even after a CT scan then an MRI scan & yesterday seeing a physio only to be told he couldn’t do owt for me except refer me back to my doctor?
    best of luck with your recovery. Roy

  7. Hope you are now getting back to 100%. Don’t try to do any lifting for a while let Ramon do it all, (ha ha). Look forward to seeing you soon.
    Adrian long

  8. Oooooo , i could try that too . I have a contorted willow in the front garden , which is getting a bit big and needs a trim down, hence the willow cuttings . I have some bigger branches to remove, ( i hate cutting tree’s down ) but it’s either that or the house will get undermined. I also have 4 ponds , one for goldfish and the others are wildlife ponds, for newts, frogs toads and midwife toads , so i could pop a big chunk in there by the edge. Thanks for the idea , will give that a go . Cheers ! Sue : )

    P.S. Take it easy !

  9. I rooted a 10″ willow log. Just stuck the end in the pond and by mid summer it had a whole bucket of roots. Went on the be a cool bonsai.
    Trying to get rid of my wobble bits now 😉

  10. WOW !! GRAHAM , YOU DON’T DO ANYTHING BY HALVES KIDDO . LOL Your lucky to have such good back up around you . Well done to them . I know nerve pain is the worst thing ever ! I had sciatica for 11 weeks and that was the pit’s . I would rather have 10 baby’s on the trott , than have nerve pain ! It was 16 weeks before i could walk to the local shops unaided . I’m nearly 65 now, but seem to forget how old i am , i still stupidly think i’m still 28 and invincible , lol plus having the mental age of a twelve year old does not help either ! ha ha ha I am slowly starting to learn that i can’t ! do what i used to , more’s the shame, so tree climbing and trying to catch the dog when he ran off is off the cards ! Plus i look pretty stupid running now , nothing flow’s anymore, it’s more of a loping hobble , and bits wobble , a lot ! Little and often is more how to play thing’s now, and go steady . I know time is of the essence when you don’t have ! much time, but you do need to take things just a tad slower , at the first sign of any twinges , STOP !! I know that sounds a bit wussy , but we all know you wear your pant’s over your trousers !!!! So you have nothing to prove . Anyway , i hope your feeling much ! better , and the rest of the year goes smoothly for you and your team . I am now just going to have a go at growing bonsai willows with cuttings, something i saw on youtube the other day , it looks fun if nothing else , and it will also keep me out of trouble for a while . All the best !
    Sue : )

  11. So sorry to hear about your awful ordeal. Lets hope you’re on the mend for a full recovery. By the time spring comes along and all those sugars and oxygen have been released back into your system, you’ll be a blooming new man.

  12. I’m still drying my eyes, is it me or does the carving on that Oak look like some form of creature (G.Potter) in terrible pain.
    Pass the hankie Deb.
    Seriously my friend, get better soon – I’ve been there as well!
    Put my back out big time delivering a few boxes to Help the Aged Charity shop.
    It was at least 17 years ago and Debbie still tells the story.

  13. Hang it there, Graham!!!

    You probably already know magnesium helps with spasms. Magnesium sulfate soaks (Epsom salts) or a little orally can ease the spams. Works great for me.

    Best wishes for a speedy recovery from the States!

  14. Holy shite, Graham, what a carry-on! Big kudos to everyone who stepped up.

    Highlight has to be you saying you treat yourself to a skip for Christmas. Cracked me up!


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