Black Friday My Arse!
Just in case anyone was tempted to ask me about “Black Friday” deals I thought, for once, I would get ahead of the game. If you know me you know what comes next so let me step aside for a moment. Here is an excerpt from an email I received this very morning from an outstanding UK producer and supplier.
“Our position of not jumping on the band wagon with Black Friday deals is not only because we don’t agree with the concept of fuelling consumerism to the detriment of our planet. It is because we don’t need to – we combine high quality, with great value for all our bird food products throughout the year.” Vine House Farm
I entirely concur with those sentiments but also let me add….you knew this was coming, my two penn’orth.
Personally I consider it offensive to be offered a ‘deal’. Let me, at length, explain.
Running a business these days costs a LOT of money. Even before one makes their first sale there will potentially have been many thousands of pounds spent. In modern Britain, just for a company to exist costs money, to actually have the audacity to trade will cost an eye watering amount. When a business gets a little bigger the amount of money needed every day, just to open the door, even before making a sale, is best NOT thought about. I believe they call that your ‘burn rate‘, costs not directly attributed to sales that have to be paid regardless of economic activity.
So, everyone has to make a (dirty word coming up) PROFIT. That’s not so your local friendly business owner can get rich, fuck off on a yacht and make a spectacle of himself in the Caribbean wearing a loud shirt and budgie smuggler. Profits pay wages and taxes and they pay those who choose to work as well as those who cannot or will not? Profits are a good thing, at least in the hands of honest and responsible folk.
So, I went out to buy a massive ‘dining’ table and a bunch of chairs. At the time my circumstances were straitened but I will never let a lack of ready cash dictate what I buy. Neither will I borrow money. Rather than buy cheap crap I will go without until I can afford what I want or need. I was in my own home and married about eight years before I got my first sofa and because I waited and bought well I still have it thirty years later.
So, the table? We went off to our local family owned furniture emporium, who were famous for their massive discounts, and pretty soon I found the monster table and chairs I was looking for. It was on offer at something stupid like 60% discount which made no difference to me, it was what we needed and I had the folding in my pocket so we loaded it up there and then. Fifteen years on I still have it.
Some time later we decided we needed some sort of sideboard, dresser thingy and so we headed back to the same store with a roll of Her Majesties finest paper currency. Once again we found what we needed pretty quick, I must be easy to please. Having agreed to buy said item the salesman, who knew me pretty well by then, thanks to multiple visits, told me that if I waited a week I could get the item at a……you guessed it…….60% discount. I told him he was a c**** and walked out never to return. A couple of years later they had a genuine sale because they went bankrupt. I’m old now and so have many examples of bullshit discounting. I would not like to insult anyone’s intelligence by doing the same.
A while back I saw one of the big DIY sheds offering an 80% discount on kitchens. Just think about that for a moment. This advertisement was on TV which is really expensive to do right? VAT is 20%. I can really only think of four possible explanations for this….
- Their original prices were artificially stratospheric
- They were going bankrupt
- Their kitchens must be absolute shit
- Their goods are radioactive or really unfashionable.
Seeing as they are still in business my intuition leads me to believe it was number 3. Is anyone REALLY taken in by this bullshit? I guess so as we keep seeing more and more of it every year.
I was recently offered a ‘deal’ on some power tools. That got me to thinking I could really use some of those. It took me about as long as it takes to read this sentence to find the exact same items at a better ‘regular’ price from a reputable retailer. Then, in the end, I went back to a small local firm I use and paid more from them because they are nice people to do business with.
One thing I have learned and will pass on willingly is that, often, just buying from the cheapest source is not the best deal. I like the old fashioned notion of customer loyalty, not because it will get me a better price but I like to be invested in the folk that I spend money with. Trust me folk IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT PRICE.
Sure we can all get a low price (no prizes for that) from some big faceless corporation (or somebody going broke). But, what happens when things go wrong? Then you enter the Twilight Zone of ‘customer service‘ where emails are not answered or mysteriously get lost, telephones and automated “Please choose from the following 45 options menu“, “sorry I did not understand that answer” “please hold“, listen to this intensely annoying shit music for the next 40 minutes, “You call is important to us, please continue to hold“, “All our operators are busy right now” because we are too cheap to employ enough folk to take care of you…… BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT. Anyone been there? They should call it “Fuck the customer services“.
However place your order with a GOOD small business and the whole experience will be better. Small businesses generally do not have call centres, automated phone systems, live chat, app’s or any other tech’y bullshit. Buy from a firm with a landline number and a front door you can walk through and a hand you can shake. It’s worth the extra few quid and I think we will all feel a little better about ourselves having a bit less stuff and knowing our money is appreciated by people who don’t give it to shareholders and that just may become friends in the long run.
Talking of front doors, brings to mind the story of a good bonsai buddy of mine, sadly no longer with us. Smart as a whip, successful and wealthy my old mate was Norfolk through and through. Back then we all used Norwich Union for a great many financial services simply because they were based in Norfolk, as I recall they occupied about half of the fine city of Norwich. Anyhow, my buddy had an issue he needed to resolve and gave them a call which ended up in India or some such place. After a while it all started to get ugly so my short-tempered mate decided enough was enough, jumped into his truck and went to Norwich. Those were the days when you could just walk into a building without a cavity search. Now obviously we know this was not going to work but me ol’ mate stormed in the door demanding satisfaction. The bewildered staff, not forthcoming resulted in my guy going out to the car park to fetch the pick axe handle he always carried in the back of his truck. Eventually the police were called and satisfaction was NOT had.
I learned a lot from that, all of our insurance is handled by a local family-owned agent with a shop in the local high street. Should there ever be a problem the sight of my looming hulk over the counter will get some action. I can call my guy any time, directly and he knows me. I get prices better than I can find online, sound ‘inside’ advice, no telephone menus. Now that really is fucking “Simples”!
Kaizen Bonsai also deals with little family businesses all over the UK and beyond. Over the years we have built up good trading relationships and it’s nice to be taken care of by folk who know us and know what we need. Also as the years pass it’s nice to see other folks businesses grow and their families prosper, kids grow up etc’ and to know we helped in that does us a world of good.
Don’t get me wrong, i’m not against buying what we need at a decent price and I have made my living for decades now by haggling and stumping up that all important £ sterling to get what I want at the right price. I just hate being deceived and lied to by dishonest businesses and bullshitters.
Kaizen Bonsai have never had a ‘sale’. However I have, on rare occasions offered ‘discount‘ items. The discounts on those come in two forms.
- I negotiated a special price from a supplier and passed on the saving.
- I got so sick of looking at something I either sold it for what it cost or even at a loss.
Sometimes I suffer a lack of good judgement and buy stuff that is all wrong. On those occasions I have to ‘man-up’ and take the hit by which I mean I lose money. So if you see a discount on our website I suggest you feel really sorry for me whilst developing a wry smile at my expense. I firmly believe in personal responsibility.
The whole essence of a ‘SALE” is to get rid of excess stock, bale out of bad buying decisions, clear out seasonal stock and generally move stuff on to free up cash and make space. The very day business started buying in sale stock the integrity was lost and these days clever marketing of ‘events’ like Black Friday are symptomatic of a distinct lack of integrity and respect. I say “give me your best price EVERY day“. Show me some respect and value my business, not just because you want a good review, or because you want me to come and spend even more. The way a lot of business is conducted today is losing dignity and respect. It’s a dishonest approach to selling good folk stuff they probably don’t need and persuading those same hard-working folk to part with money they often do not have, via’ debt cards, easy finance options and the like. FOMO is a powerful thing.
So, if you genuinely need to get something and you find a good offer knock yourselves out. Personally, I’m not easily swayed into parting with my hard-earned and have spent the morning unsubscribing to every single email offering me a Black Friday ‘deal’. Every bit of Black Friday mail through my door went back into the post box “return to sender”. I know it makes absolutely no difference whatsoever, i’m just a dog howling at the moon but things have got to change, the way we are going is destroying every one of us.
So, I have wasted enough time on this and if you, dear reader, are insane enough to have read it there are Black Friday deals you are missing. I have to go sort this mess out now, video coming soon.
P.S ‘SALE’ items are listed here. Bonsai Bargain Basement.